I suffered a severe stroke in June of 2006. As a result, I lost the of my memory of most of the things I did for a living in the past. I ran an electrical contracting business. I was a computer programmer. I was a Project manager of fiber optic Sonet systems. I used to design, plan and carry out the creation of these networks. Then one day in June of 2006 my brain got fried, and I lost all of the detail knowledge with which I had earned a living over many years. Why?
I do not know. The doctors told me it could have been worse. My rehabilitation therapist said I am lucky. I could be dead or may never have regained my speech or left side of my body physical strength. I guess I have to learn to live with that, but it is a tougher thing than the things I had to go through to speak and move again. Through it all I had the help of a wonderful woman unselfish woman.
Still, I struggle daily with the fact that I am not whole anymore. I was also a pilot, and I loved to fly. Since I was a young boy bicycling three miles from Somerdale, New Jersey to reach Echelon air field in Marlton I loved the thought that I could get up in the clouds and soar above the trees. I used to go there and spend hours looking over the old Piper Cubs and biplanes wondering just what made them fly. I dreamed of getting into one and taking off. However, I came from a poor family, and none of us had ever been in an airplane, let alone a private plane . I just had to dream, and spend a lot of time making model planes that flew. Even there, I could only make balsa planes covered with tissue paper. The cost of a little motor to power one of my models too was out of my limit. I was determined to correct that some day. How?
School. My parents and older siblings all told me that education was the key to getting ahead. They may not have been able to give much in the way of money, but they gave me something more important: hope and the belief that I could do it if I tried. That meant I could make the money I needed for the things I wanted by just using my brain. I wasn't the worlds best student, but I had this bulldog approach to things. I never let them go until I got achieved what was needed. The result was that I finished college, got a Masters Degree, and learned to be a managerial engineer. Eventually, I learned to fly. It was a long road [flight path], but I was in that cock pit and soaring above the trees and in the clouds. The first time in the air by myself, I could hardly believe it was me. I thought I was in a dream. The same dream I had as a young boy at Echlon Field.
Life is full of achievements and disappointments. A few years ago I went back to visit the dream field of my childhood. Echlon Field was now the site of a very large shopping mall. What a disappointment. Ever since 1974 when I had become an Air Traffic Controller I got an annual flight physical, I knew that I was in top shape for that job, and for my piloting skills.
Recently, I checked back with my Doctor, and was told there was no chance that I could ever again pass the flight physical. I am grounded for life, and the same goes for my work skills.
Life can turn on a dime. In my case the turn seems irreversible. It is a one way turn when your brain stops working.
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