It is a little late in the game to be discovering this about myself: I am lacking in the necessary animal instincts that God instills in all living creatures.
Look at the animals when they see each other. Instantly there is rapid communication. Eyes dart back and forth; hairs stand up or lay down; backs arch or slump; noses get wet and dry. Animals smell each other and use the odor to form a mental picture of one another. They stretch, yawn, move their tongues. In short, they are sizing up each other and finding out all they can about the other animal.
Don't we do a lot of the same thing when we are thrown into a group. Almost every Friday night I go to the Aruba Beach Club Bar in Lauderdale by the Sea. It is located right on the beach at the very east end of Commercial Blvd. Once inside I observe men and women of all ages and types doing just what I described above. They are sniffing, moving and otherwise communicating with each other. It is all non-verbal, yet sometimes I find certain people who can tell me about the entire room of people just by walking through and purchasing one drink. Meanwhile I also find that everyone else in the room seems to know something about this person. Me. I am such an observer, and a non interactive type that I impress people about as much as the wall covering. Somehow, I do not pick up on the animal non-verbal communication thing, and it seems to work both ways. If anyone was sniffing me in this type situation, they act like it may have just as easily been a rock. I seem neither to get or give off animal vibes.
What can I do to improve this trait? Is is all born within, or something we learn from childhood? I mean, I used to get an OK on "Works and Plays well with others" Yet I meet people who can tell me the names of kids they went to first grade with and their traits . I can't remember hardly anything of anyone I knew that long ago. In fact, I have a difficult time remembering who I met this morning.
Am I cursed with a missing gene? Is there something that seems to isolate me from civilization. If I were a lion cub would I make it to adulthood, or would the missing sense of smell and that seeming sixth sense of knowing what is going around me with respect to interaction among others lead me to an early death?
I can remember this much. Early on, I seemed to miss who people were in the group, and I failed to place them in some social strata that is important when human interaction is needed to protect or define or other wise place oneself in a proper social situation.
I do remember a incident in High School where I was walking out of the Gym. Some other students were playing basketball. The ball went out of bounds and headed toward me as I was exiting the door to leave school for the day. I heard a strong voice tell me to throw the ball back. Nothing registered, I just was focused on leaving, and could not feel that all the eyes in the gym were upon me. I continued to move on, and left the ball bounce against the wall.
The next day I believe half the school was waiting outside when I left school. There in front of the crowd was the same rough voice that yesterday had demanded I toss his basketball back. What had I missed? Was I so devoid of this animal instinct that I did not know this guy was the top school bully? Was I so much of an inept social being? How was it that the whole school knew this, and I did not. My lesson soon started when he began to push and shove me to the ground letting me and the rest of the school know that when he demanded something; people were supposed to react in his favor. I did not have a right sense of smell to know that this guy was so much in command. My thoughts were more along the lines of what would I do if someone did not throw a ball back to me when asked[not that I would ask or demand such a thing]. I would just go and get it myself and be done with it. Why was this such a big deal to him? Yet there was something of the animal competition and aggression going on here that I did not understand. Why did this guy taking the time to even think of me to the point of having to show he could easily overpower me in front of my peers?
It was his animal instinct; in his nature! He had to show others like me who did not have the proper animal senses to know it already that he was the superior animal. I already knew that , and I didn't see the point in either of us demonstrating something we both knew.
Again I missed the point. Knowing it is not enough. Showing it is everything! I now saw his muscles in action. I could smell his sweat as he pushed and shoved. I could feel the tension in the crowd as they watched and were reaffirmed of the fact that this is how groups are selected and defined.
Yet, I still didn't learn to really put great stock in this animal selection process. I did not get the survival theory, and I just went on living my life ignorant or immune to what is probably the most important trait each of us must develop in order to survive.,
I may still not get it.
I stood in the Aruba Club watching others interact, and still I was missing the basics.
Help me to mingle and meet.
Someone, please bring out the animal in me!!
I'll be back next week ladies.
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